


The Start of Spring

by Skylers_Book



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23923159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylers_Book/pseuds/Skylers_Book
Summary: Winry had been mentally and emotionally preparing for Edward's departure for years. Whether it was his death or a decision to leave forever, she'd been ready for it, no matter how much she prayed it wouldn't happen. Now it was time to accept it.NOT WINRYXOC STORY
Relationships: Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell
Kudos: 10





	1. Time to Accept

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story I wrote last year and posted on FFN. This was my first fic, but since I am planning on working on some longer and more serious things, I figured I'd post the few things I made on Ao3 too.  
> I hope you enjoy this small story!

"Hey Ed, are you free tomorrow?"

Edward look up from his book to find Winry standing by the doorway of the living room.

"Not really. I was thinking about deciphering some notes Al sent me yesterday. Why?"

Winry shifted a little, playing with her fingers. "Well, that Sheep Festival is tomorrow and I wanted to see if you'd want to go with me."

At that Edward cringed a little. "Oh, I'm not sure. You know I really don't like being around those farm animals, ya' know? Plus it's been really hot lately."

"O-okay." Winry turned away and made for the stairs.

"Why don't you ask Nellie? Just so you're not by yourself." Edward shouted from the living room.

Winry stopped and turned back to him with a smile. "Yeah. I think she'd like that."

With that she continued back to her room upstairs.

Edward relaxed back on the couch and looked back at his book. He felt a little bad for not going with her, but he just didn't like the idea of hanging around a bunch of sheep in the heat all day. Edward had returned from his travels two months prior while Alphonse had decided to stay put in Xing for a while. It was because of Mei, he just knew it. Though Alphonse had chosen to stay in Xing longer than expected, he always mailed his notes about alkahestry back to Edward in Resembool. From dusk till dawn every day, Edward had studied, trying to decipher every subject and detail he possibly could, really only pausing when it was time for breakfast and dinner. Those were also the only times he'd really spoken with Winry.

Ever since he'd came back from his travels, he had been trying to pick the right moment to really confess and take the next step with her. It just wasn't the right time yet. There were so many things he was still busy with and he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to make another trip to learn more. He definitely didn't want to spend the first few months of their relationship countries apart.

It just had to wait a little longer.

* * *

Upstairs, Winry was rummaging through her closet, trying to find a nice dress to wear tomorrow. While shifting through the hangers, many thoughts were running through her head.

_It's been two months since he came back… why hasn't he said anything yet._

She'd been so excited when Edward sent her the letter revealing he was coming back home. Ever since his confession, or at least, what she thought was his confession, she'd been ready to take the next step with him. The day he came back she had fixed him his favorite dinner; stew and apple pie, and had even worn a pretty dress. She even put on a little bit of makeup! But nothing. He never said anything to her.

They just ate, he talked about his travels, she talked about her business, he gave her one short hug and then retreated back to his room. At seven at night.

Since then it had pretty much been him either staying locked up in his room or lounging on the couch, pondering over whatever Alphonse had sent him. Occasionally he'd take on a job fixing a roof or a fence for someone to make some money and she just focused on her work.

But at least she had tried to make an attempt to get to him. She was always the one who tried to get him to eat at the table when he wanted to take his dinner upstairs. She was the one who invited him out to the lake when he was still in his room after noon. She was the one who tried to make small conversations when they passed each other in the hall. But it was pointless. He wouldn't change.

Winry could feel the first sting of tears as she bit her lip, trying to keep it in.

 _It'll be okay. It's always been like this,_ she thought.

She vaguely wondered if he had found someone else during his travels, but quickly pushed that thought away. Edward would have at least mentioned that detail. And he never wrote to or called anyone who wasn't Alphonse. Edward had called her during his time in Creta, so he definitely would have called a potential girlfriend. Even if there was someone else, they would have gotten tired of his silence for two months and move on. She found herself thinking something similar…

Winry picked out a white dress with pink roses printed on it. She had a necklace her mother had left her that would complement the dress beautifully. Laying it carefully on her chair, she turned to exit the room as it was time to start dinner.

_It's the way it's always been._

Winry had been mentally and emotionally preparing for Edward's departure for years. Whether it was his death or a decision to leave forever, she'd been ready for it, no matter how much she prayed it wouldn't happen.

Now it was time to accept it.


	2. Sheep Festival

The next morning Winry found herself standing in front of her mirror, fluffing her rosy dress out. She had seen Nellie hours earlier and they both agreed to go to the Sheep Festival together. The rest of the morning, Winry had put curlers in her hair and applied what little make up she owned; some blush colored eyeshadow, mascara, and a pink tinted lip gloss.

Taking out the curlers and shaking her hair out, she finished off her outfit with a pink rose on the top right of her head.

Giving one last look in the mirror, she smiled, grabbed her purse, and exited the room.

As soon as she made it into the hall, she bumped into a hard body and nearly fell, before two strong arms grabbed her.

"Woah, careful there. You okay?" Still holding her, Edward stared down at her worriedly.

Winry looked up at him and slowly backed away, making him let go.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I was in a bit of a hurry there."

There was a short silence before Winry ran her fingers through her hair. "Do you like the dress? It's a bit tight, I haven't worn it since I was sixteen, but it matches the necklace my mom left me, see?"

Edward finally took this moment to really look at her. She was… so beautiful. Her hair was curled in such a way that made her resemble her mother even more than she already did and the dress hugged her chest and waist and flared out just before her knees. He could feel his face and neck heating up when he realized he still hadn't said anything.

"Y-yeah." He choked out. "You look good."

Winry offered a sweet smile, before pushing past him.

"I shouldn't be gone too long. I'll be back before it gets dark" She said, making a beeline for the front door downstairs.

Edward followed closely behind her, trying to keep up. Why was she walking so fast?

"Hey, just be careful, okay? Don't talk to strangers or leave the crowd and stuff like that."

She stopped and turned to face him, hand on the door knob and a perplexed look on her face.

"It's just the Sheep Festival Ed…"

"Yeah, but you know crazy stuff always happens," he said, arms crossed.

"It'll be fine," Winry laughed a bit. For a moment she considered asking him to go one more time, but decided against it. Once he made a decision, it was hard to sway him.

"Well… I'll see you later," Winry said, opening the door to leave.

"See ya."

With that, she left, leaving Edward in the quiet house.

* * *

It wasn't long before Winry met up with Nellie and arrived at the festival. They had spent a few hours dancing with each other in the crowds and playing carnival games.

"Hey Winry! Doesn't that stuffed owl look like Ed?" Nellie pointed at one of the prizes in the hoop toss standee.

Turning to where she pointed, Winry spotted an orange owl with the same big angry eyes Edward sometimes had when he was ranting about something.

"Why don't you try to win it?" Winry suggested.

Nellie bounded over to the hoop toss stand and paid a fee to the man and picked up three hoops. With concentration set on her face, she tossed each hoop, but only managing to catch one bottle.

"Let me try," Winry said, paying her own fee and picking up the hoops. Staring determinedly at the bottles, she held a hoop between her fingers and gave it a toss. One bottle caught. Excitement rising, she took the second hoop and tossed it, catching the second bottle. A big smile on her face, she gave the third hoop a toss…

And missed.

Winry gave a small curse under her breath as two figures approached her and Nellie.

"So close too!"

"Pitt!"

Turning back, Winry found that Pitt and some unknown guy walking towards them.

"You really have a good hand there, Rocky," Pitt said, slinging an arm around Nellies shoulders.

"I thought you were going to be working with your dad all day?" Nellie said, clinging to his arm.

"Well I gave my old man the slip while he was clearing out the shed," he chuckled, giving her a peck on the cheek.

_That's right_ , Winry thought. _Those two started seeing each other a few months back._

"I was so close!" Winry sighed to herself and fixed her purse.

"Hey Pitt, Winry still hasn't met James yet!" Nellie excitedly exclaimed.

"Oh yeah. Winry, this is my buddy here. He moved by my house a few months ago and we've been working together."

For the first time she turned her attention to the unfamiliar man. He was quite tall and had black hair. She would have thought he looked like Roy if it hadn't been for his dark blue eyes.

"Hi, I'm Winry! I own Rockbell's Automail Shop just up the hill," she said, holding her hand out.

"Hello Winry. I've definitely heard of your shop. You seem to be very well known here. It's nice to meet you," James said, shaking her hand.

Pitt walked back over to the stand.

"So what, you just toss the hoops and try to get them around the bottles?" He said, paying the fee.

Taking the hoops, he gave the first two a toss, catching both bottles, then missing the third.

"Dammit!"

"Looks like you did as well as I did," Winry smirked at him.

"Hey James, bet you can't do better than me!" Pitt challenged.

James took it, and paid the fee. Picking up the hoops, he gave each a toss, getting all but one bottle.

"Alright," Pitt said. "First one to get all three wins."

The two boys continued their game for the next half hour, always only getting one or two bottles, but never the third. Winry and Nellie kept cheering them on, throwing in some 'words of encouragement' whenever one of the boys made a bad throw.

Down to their last cenz, Pitt made his final attempt, and once again, failing to get the last bottle.

James picked up his hoops and tried once more. First toss; got it. Second toss; got it. Holding the last hoop he took his time, determination on his face, and tossed it.

And got it.

Winry and Nellie clapped and cheered, while Pitt sighed, feeling defeated.

Winry stopped laughing with Nellie when she saw the orange owl in front of her face.

"You wanted this, didn't you?" James said, a light smile on his face.

Winry looked up, grinning, and accepted the stuffed animal.

"Aw Pitt, why don't you ever win me anything?" Nellie started fake pouting, crossing her arms.

'Hey, I buy you lots of stuff!" He yelled back to her.

The two started messing with each other, while Winry and James just laughed.

"So, when did you move here exactly?" Winry asked him.

"About four months ago. My father used to live here when he was younger, before moving to Dublith. He wanted to come back to the farm life and find work here again." He replied.

"It sure is a lot more quiet and relaxed out here. I had my own taste of city life as well. I used to work at a shop in Rush Valley," she said.

"Rush Valley? The land of automail? Sure does suit you! I'm sure you made a name for yourself there as well!" He said.

"Yep! I had so much fun there! I actually contemplate moving back there one day!" Winry said, beaming.

"Why not? I'm sure you'd be really happy there. What made you come back here?" James asked.

Winry paused for a moment. How do you tell someone you have just met that you were held hostage by the military and needed to go into hiding?!

That, and part of the reason she never went back was so that she'd be there for Edward and Alphonse. So well _that_ turned out. One brother was probably considering permanently living in another country while the other one barely spoke to another living person.

Realizing she still hadn't said anything, she exclaimed, "my grandmother! I just didn't want to leave her alone. She's doing well and is more active than most six year olds, but I just couldn't be away from her for too long, you know?"

Well at least that wasn't a lie. With her grandmother getting older, Winry wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.

"I see. Family's definitely important," James replied.

"Hey!"

Winry and James turned to see Pitt and Nellie approaching them, apparently done with their fooling around.

"Let's go dancing! Everyone's gathered over there!" Nellie exclaimed.

With that, the four of them headed over to the crowd, where the music was playing.

Pitt and Nellie immediately attached themselves to one another and soon disappeared into the crowd, leaving Winry and James with each other.

"What do you say?" James asked, holding his hand out to Winry. "Wanna join them?"

Winry stood still for a moment, unsure. "Well… I've never actually danced with another person at one of these things. I always just kinda jumped around with other girls on the sides."

It wasn't that she didn't want to. She just had no prior experience and really didn't want to make a fool of herself.

"C'mon, it's really easy, here." James took both her hands in his, taking care not to make her drop the stuffed owl, and pulled her into the crowd. Swaying from side to side a little, he moved both of their arms back in forth in a rhythmic motion, keeping up with the beat of the drums.

James twirled her under his hand and Winry stumbled a bit, falling into him. They both laughed as he caught her and they resumed their dancing, joking and laughing with each other through the rest of the songs.

It was the first time in two months Winry had genuinely felt happy.

* * *

The sun had already set for hours by the time the festival ended and people started heading back home.

"Pitt we really need to go dancing more!" Nellie exclaimed, arm around his.

The four had met up and were walking back home together, Winry clutching the owl to her chest. Just as she was going to break off from the group in the direction to her house, Nellie stopped.

"Oh Winry you can't go home alone! Let us walk with you!"

"O-oh don't worry about me. I'll be okay," Winry tried to wave off.

"Are you sure?" Pitt asked.

"Yep. I'll be fine."

"I can walk with her," James offered.

"Oh no, really. I'll be okay," Winry said, shuffling away.

"Well I'm actually a little curious to see what your shop looks like too."

At that Winry perked up. "Really? Let's go then!"

Pitt and Nellie laughed before saying their goodbyes.

During their walk Winry told James about all of her current projects and he seemed genuinely interested in everything she had to say. It felt so good to just have a simple conversation with another person.

As they approached her house, Winry found that all of the lights were off.

_They must have gone to sleep_ , she thought.

"Did you still want to see the shop?" She asked him.

"Yeah! I'd like to see that newest model you said you were working on," James said excitedly.

Unlocking and opening the door, they both stepped inside.

"We just have to be quiet. My grandmother is asleep by now," Winry whispered.

They made their way to the basement downstairs where she shut the door and turned on the light.

Walking over to the table, she picked up an arm she had been working on.

"So on this one I use aluminum alloy instead of steel to make it a lot lighter and more balanced for the user's body. I've also been working with the wiring so the fingers are able to perform more delicate actions, like writing," she beamed proudly.

"That's so cool!" He chimed.

For the next hour, Winry showed him all of her latest works and how she wired the limbs.

"I guess it's getting late. Thanks for showing me your work! It's really interesting," James yawned, standing up.

"Of course!" She chirped, walking him back up the steps, and heading towards the front door. "It's been a really fun day. We should all meet up again."

"I'd like that," James smiled back at her, stepping out the door. "Goodnight Winry."

"Goodnight!"

With that, he shut the door behind him and Winry made her way back to the kitchen, setting the stuffed owl on the table. She walked over to the sink and poured herself a glass of water, and sat back down by the table. She picked up the owl and analyzed it. It really did look a lot like Edward and his angry eyes. It was really cute!

A frown slowly spread on her face as she thought about their relationship. She had been so caught up in the excitement that she had completely forgotten about how depressed she had been feeling lately. With a sigh, she closed her eyes, and dropped the owl back on the table.

While fumbling with her necklace, she heard the front door throw open with someone cursing to themselves, before slamming it shut. Instantly she recognized the voice to be Edward's.

"Ed?" She called out.

The cursing abruptly stopped and she heard him running all the way to the kitchen.

"Winry!"

Stopping in front of her, he kneeled down until his face was right in front of hers. He was breathing heavy and looked exhausted.

"Ed what's wron-"

"You said you were going to be back before it got dark out!"

Initially shocked at his anger, Winry quickly realized what was going on.

"Oh… It just lasted so long… it got dark before we knew it and I guess we lost track of time…"

"You sure did lose track of time!" He snapped back.

At that, Winry could feel her anger bubbling. "Oh well doesn't that sound familiar! I can't go to an innocent event with my friend in my hometown without you freaking out, but you can just waltz around to any country you want, no matter how dangerous, and without even telling me where you were going in the first place! How convenient."

Edward quickly shut his mouth, face red. "W-well t-that's n-not-"

"Sure it isn't." She huffed, crossing her arms and turning away from him.

It fell silent for a few moments, neither of them saying anything.

Slowly, Edward pulled out the chair next her out and sat down beside her, hands clasped and head hanging low.

"I'm sorry Winry… it's just… I was expecting you to be back before it got dark out. And when you weren't, I went to go find you and take you back home, but by the time I got to the festival it was already over and completely empty. I had no idea where you were."

It was true for the most part.

Edward hadn't thought much of it when the sun was beginning to set and she still hadn't returned. Pinako had already went to bed and Edward sat in the kitchen waiting for Winry and by the time night came, he started to worry. He rushed to the Sheep Festival as fast as he could and when he saw a vacant lot, it sent him into a full panic.

He had ran around, trying to find anyone who may have seen her. Edward had no idea when the festival ended. It could have been hours prior and all he could think was that something terrible had happened while he was unaware at home.

He could still feel his eyes stinging when he came back.

At Edward's words Winry's face softened and she set a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I guess I should have thought that one through better," she said.

They both sat silence for a few moments before Edward spoke up.

"So how was it? You have fun?"

Winry perked up at his question. "Yeah! Nellie and I played games and danced the whole time."

"Oh yeah?" Edward said, then picked up the stuffed owl.

"What's this? They hand out souvenirs?" He asked, eyeballing the toy curiously.

"Actually we won it from one of those hoop toss games. Ya'know, where you try to get the rings around the bottles."

"You must have a good hand, winning this."

"It actually wasn't me, it was-"Winry stopped herself for moment, contemplating what to say.

Edward was giving her a questioning look before she continued.

"Err, uh, Pitt won it! Nellie and I couldn't beat the game, so he tried it and won it for us," she responded quickly.

"Pitt won it? Isn't he Nellie's boyfriend? Why'd he give it to-"

"He won two of them," Winry cut him off. "It was a double prize so we both got one." Winry could feel her face heating up. Why on Earth was she so nervous to tell him about James winning it for her? It's not like it would bother him or anything. Hell, he'd probably be more interested in hearing about the new guy in town who lived in the same city as his teacher than he would be with the night the two of them had.

Edward handed the owl back to her and stood up. "Well that was nice of him."

Winry stood up after him and they both walked to the staircase.

"It's pretty late," Edward yawned. "We should go to bed."

_Alone,_ Winry added in her head; a solemn look on her face. "Yeah," she responded.

Before they entered their respected rooms, Edward called back to her, "hey Winry, I'm glad you're okay," he said with a gentle smile.

"Yeah… thanks for worrying about me. Sorry again for that," she told him, shutting her door, ready to spend another night by herself.


	3. The Date

The next few days after the Sheep Festival revealed to show not much change in Winry's relationship with Edward. He still kept to himself at all hours of the day and he recently received more notes from Alphonse so there was basically no chance in Hell that he'd leave his bedroom anytime soon.

Winry was working in the basement when she realized that she was running low on a type a screw she really needed. It was midday Saturday, so the tool shop would be closed the next day.

She'd decided on taking a quick shower and to go get whatever she needed from the shop.

After washing up, she settled on wearing a simple gray button up shirt and some jeans and made a mental note that this might be the best time to pick up a few groceries. Telling her grandmother she'd be back, she headed out the door.

* * *

It didn't take long for Winry to find the screws that she needed. But of course, the tool shop was like looking at jewelry and clothes for her; she just couldn't stop. While analyzing all the different wrenches, she bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed.

"No, it's alrgi- Winry?"

Moving her gaze up, Winry immediately realized it was James. She had barely thought about him after the Sheep Festival last week, but seeing him again made her relaxed and happy.

"James! How are you," she asked giving him a quick hug.

"I'm doing great! What were you looking for here?"

"I just needed to pick up some screws. After, I thought about doing a little bit of grocery shopping, but I just can't stop looking at all the tools! They have a lot of great new stuff here!" She beamed.

"Yeah, this place is great! Pitt and I need to build a fence for someone tomorrow, so I came by to pick up a new hammer," he said, holding it up for her to see.

"Well, I should probably head to the market before it closes."

"Hey do you need any help carrying it all back? I know it's a pretty good distance back to your house."

She smiled sweetly at him. "Thank you, I'd really appreciate it."

Winry usually just did all of the shopping herself. Sometimes she had Edward help her, but at the moment, she really didn't want to bother him for anything.

She was very thankful to have James help her with her errand. She was able to buy much more food with an extra pair of hands to carry them and just having someone who easy and fun to talk to was refreshing. She wasn't like Edward. She couldn't bury herself into her work _constantly_ without taking a moment to just let go and relax. She loved her job, but she loved living in the moment too!

Winry and James were almost at her house when he stopped her.

"Hey… I know this is a little sudden, but would you want to go out to dinner tomorrow?" He fidgeted a little, seemingly nervous for her answer.

Winry's first thought was to decline, but she stopped herself. What was there to lose taking him up on his offer? She would just be working like any other day. Another thought that crossed her was Edward. Should she continue hoping he'd come around or was it just pointless now? She wasn't romantically interested in James and his offer was specifically a date. Honestly if worse came to worse and he showed any interest in her, she could just turn him down and hopefully resume their friendship, which she felt she really needed at the moment.

"Yes, I'd like that," she finally replied.

James let out relieved sigh and chuckled a little. "Great! Can I pick you up at five tomorrow?"

"Yeah that sounds good."

Winry opened the door to her house and they both set the groceries on the table, before he bid farewell to her.

She was in the middle of putting them away when someone shuffled into the kitchen.

"Hey Win," Edward said to her.

She just gave him a short glance and small smile and continued putting everything away.

"Wow… you got a lot of stuff…" he said and started helping her.

"I needed to get some more screws and decided it was a good time to go shopping to, so I just got us some stuff to make dinner for the next few nights."

"By yourself?"

Winry turned back to him and saw that Edward was staring right at her.

"Yep." She turned away from him, hoping he'd believe her lie.

He was still looking at her, not at all convinced. Between the cartons of juice, the potatoes, the screws, and everything else, this would all take at least two people to carry. Winry was strong, he'd never take that from her, but even he would have had a hard time carrying it by himself.

What was going on?

Winry finished putting away the last few items and turned to leave the kitchen with Edward on her heels.

"Hey, why are you in such a hurry?"

"I'm just going to be really busy the rest of the weekend. I have an order to finish."

Lie.

"Is everything okay Winry? You're not… I didn't do anything wrong did I?"

Winry finally stopped and slowly turned to face him.

Edward's eyebrows were knitted together and he was nervously twitching, trying hard not to look directly at her.

She took a few steps towards him, staring straight into his eyes.

"Winry?"

She raised her hand to his face, cupping his cheek gently, and ran her thumb back and forth against his cheekbone.

"Ed," she breathed heavily.

He could feel his entire body on fire, but stayed frozen in place. His eyes were wide staring back into her own. He could feel his face moving closer to her, completely entranced with what was happening.

Just as his lips were almost touching hers, she slid her hand down to his shoulder and pushed herself back slightly.

"I'll see you later Ed."

She turned and headed back to her room, leaving Edward fixed in the same spot, replaying the scene over and over in his head.

* * *

Winry didn't know why she felt nervous. It was an hour before James was supposed to pick her up and she honestly didn't know if she was having a mini freak out because she needed to find a way to hide it from Edward and her Grandmother or if was from the 'date' itself.

Calling it a date didn't really feel right to her. She'd rather just say that it was a simple get together between two friends.

She and James had only been around each other twice, so it would be impossible to have any real romantic attraction to him. He was a handsome man, yes, but in truth she just really enjoyed his company and appreciated his kindness. She loved Edward, but it appeared to be a loss at this point.

The other day she wanted nothing more than to let out everything that she had been feeling the past two months. She was so close to spilling everything, but she couldn't do it. Winry didn't want to cause any unnecessary confrontation with him. It'd just drive him further away.

Even if she wasn't sure about any possible future with James, she needed to stop thinking about Edward and sever any feelings for him that could cause problems in their friendship. Just having him alive, safe, and here with her was more than she could ever ask for and even if it hurt, she would find a way to accept that what they had now would be it.

Winry had put on a tight red dress and had been far more daring with her make up than she was the sheep festival. Her lips matched the dress and she had blown out her hair in voluminous waves.

She felt so… out of place. Like her body was somewhere her mind couldn't be. Maybe it was because she felt that she was supposed to be dressing like this for someone else. Why would she go out of her way to dress for someone who she wasn't even sure about?

She was so lost.

Glancing at her clock she found that it was a quarter until she would be expecting James.

She needed to find a way to make sure Edward and her grandmother didn't know where she was really going. She wanted to keep this new part of her life separate. She wasn't even sure she knew what this new part was.

She grabbed her trench coat, covered her dress, and quietly exited the room. Maybe she could just leave without anyone noticing?

Her black heels didn't provide a very quiet exit as she made her way downstairs, but she managed to get to the bottom without alerting anyone. Just as she was a few feet from the front door, a voice stopped her.

"Where are you going?"

Of course he'd find her right there.

Edward was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, clearly analyzing her state of dress.

"Nellie and I wanted to have a girls' night." The lie slid out much easier than she thought.

"On a Sunday night? I thought you were busy this weekend?"

"It was last minute. I just wanted a little break." Winry tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

"How late are you going to be?"

"Probably not past nine." She could feel her heart start to race. James could knock on the door any minute.

"…"

"Ed, I promise I won't lose track of time again, I might even be back earlier."

"Okay… just call home when you're ready to leave and I'll walk you back."

Fuck.

"Yeah, I'll make sure to let you know. Bye Ed!" She hurried out the door before he could say anything else to her. She'd have to make sure she came back home before Edward would think to come looking for her.

Winry was lucky she left when she did, because James was already at her mailbox when she ran out.

"Hey Winry… are you ready to – wow."

She had removed her trench coat, revealing her dress.

"Hey James, how you doing? Let's go!" she hurriedly kept jogging down the hill, trying to make some distance from her house.

"Haha, you're sure in a hurry. You excited?"

"Yep! So where were you thinking of going?"

"Well I thought about trying this bar by my place. We don't have to drink, but Pitt said the food was pretty good."

"Sounds great!" She exclaimed, pulling him down the hill.

* * *

The evening was going very well.

Winry and James talked about work and shared different stories they had with Pitt and Nellie.

"And I mean we were _super_ drunk. Nellie and I kept falling off the couch through the whole thing," Winry laughed, recalling all the fun times she had with her friend.

James could barely contain his laughter during her stories. For the third time since she met him, Winry felt free and had completely forgotten all of her pain she had been feeling.

The lights dimmed in the bar and a slow song started to play as couples held each other and swayed to the music.

James gave her an affectionate look and held his hand out to her.

She took it without hesitation.

She laid her hands on his shoulders and he placed his on her hips, moving slowly from side to side.

"I'm glad you asked me out to this," Winry whispered.

"Me too."

She suddenly felt a pang in her chest and her eyes moisten. Why couldn't this be her and Edward right now?

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just… I'm okay."

He pulled her into his chest and held her close.

She closed her eyes and tried to pretend that he was someone else.

* * *

Winry had cut the night out short. It was before eight and she really didn't want Edward to go out looking for her again.

After the dance, she tried to keep a small distance between herself and James. She didn't know what came over her. The physical comfort felt so good she just lost herself.

She felt bad about it. She did not want this to go any further than it already had. The last two times she had been with James were fine, but things were just going too far and she was so angry with herself for allowing it.

_God. How can I be sore with Edward when I am officially guilty of the same shit?_

She just laughed in her head at the whole situation.

James didn't seem to be bothered either way. She didn't think he noticed anything weird when the song ended and she abruptly pulled away from him, announcing it was time to leave, but she didn't really check to find out. She just grabbed her coat and fled the bar.

He was currently talking about some customer he was helping this week but she wasn't really hearing any of it. She just wanted to get back to her house as soon as possible _without_ Edward just popping up like he has been lately.

Walking up her porch, she was digging out her keys, determined to get inside as soon as possible.

"Hey Winry, wait just a second," James stopped her, holding her elbow.

She turned back at him, anticipating what he was about to say, almost dreading it.

"Listen… I won't lie… I like you… but if you're more comfortable being just friends, then I'd be happy with that. We don't really know each other too well, but I think you're really cool and I'd like to keep talking with you."

Winry was speechless for a moment, inwardly freaking out that he _kinda_ did confess to her, but just as quickly felt a huge weight lift off her shoulders.

So she didn't screw everything up tonight.

James had an awkward look on his face, clearly waiting for a response.

"U-uh, y-yeah. Thanks, um. I'm sorry. I really want to be friends with you too! I'm sorry, things have been a little weird with me lately. But thank you. I'd really like to stay friends and keep hanging out with you. You've been really good to me and I appreciate that."

"That's great!" James replied back, a little disappointed, but happy that things were okay between them.

"So I'll be working on and off with Pitt this week, but maybe we can hang out again at some point."

"Yeah! I'll call you and tell you my schedule."

They gave each other a quick hug, before he bid goodnight to her.

Once Winry was inside she rushed to her bedroom to go to bed.

She'd be okay.


	4. Revelation

Things weren't right.

For weeks Winry was distant, she left the house constantly and wouldn't be back for hours. She always claimed that she was just hanging out with Nellie, but she was just so… weird about it. So secretive.

It wouldn't have bothered Edward as much as it did, but she would barely talk to him when he tried to get her to. She'd give quick answers, make some excuse to leave the room he was in, and always ate her dinner in the basement or not at all.

Edward could feel a deep foreboding that something was wrong.

Winry would look irritated and emotionally exhausted, but when she'd leave and come back hours later, she'd be happy, sometimes a little chatty, and it was the only moment he could ever get a few words in with her. Then it was like a reset the next morning and the process would continue until the next day that she'd leave. He'd thought of just following her to see exactly what she was doing, but he was so afraid of a possible fight that he'd refrained from doing so.

Trying to think back to when it all started, his mind always went back to the Sheep Festival. It was the last time she had tried to be around him.

What happened while she was gone?

After agonizing and brooding over what may have happened that day he began driving himself mad with questions. She said she was with Nellie and Pitt. What could possibly be off about that? She brought back home that stuffed owl that he'd noticed she'd displayed in her room. Sometimes he had seen her sleeping with it and she seemed to treat it like the most precious thing in the world. It made him think, but it gave him no answers.

Two months. Two fucking months since that day and things had changed dramatically and he didn't even know how to fix it because he didn't know the problem!

He wished he never turned down that invitation from her. He wished he had gone and spent time with her, but he had to be a jerk and turn down the one year event just to look at some stupid notes that he looked at every day.

All he wanted was to be around her now. She treated him like a stranger even though they lived in the same house and he missed her so much.

He had anxiety, he felt sick with worry most of the time, and he vaguely wondered if this was her rejection to him. He didn't even study anymore and he barely ate. Truly, he hadn't felt like this since his mother died. Since he put his little brother in that suit of armor. Since Nina was murdered. And the worse part was that he felt the solution was right in front of his face, but he was blind to what that was and it was probably his fault that she was out of his life.

It wasn't until Winry fell ill that he was finally able to be near her.

* * *

"Sit up a little. I think this will help your throat."

Edward held Winry gently in his arm so he could give her some of the hot tea he had made for her.

He helped her lay back down and rubbed his hand slowly up and down her arm, her clutching the stuffed owl to her chest.

"Thank you Ed," she barely croaked out.

"Yeah," he said quietly.

He hated that this was the way he had been able to talk to her again, but things seemed much more normal between them.

Her sickness started out as nothing; she'd just spent a long night working in her basement and, of course, pulled an all nighter and the next day she had a headache and sniffles. Nothing bad or odd with it, but it slowly progresses into nausea and a sore throat, which progressed into light headedness and chills, which progressed into fainting spells and weight loss. For over week this occurred and it had been scary to him.

" _Ed, it's okay," she had told him in a raspy voice, trying to clean up the kitchen._

" _Winry please, you need to lay down."_

" _Ed, you're worrying over noth-" she spun too fast to face him and passed out, falling to the ground before he caught her, frantically calling out her name and trying to wake her up._

That incident had felt way too similar to a memory he'd rather repress. Thankfully she had listen to him and Pinako and stayed in bed to rest. Her illness wasn't deathly serious, he knew, but it was Winry for God's sake and he had stayed by her side and did everything he could to make her feel even a little bit better.

He laid his hand down on her head, gently running his thumb through her bangs.

"Ugh… I don't think I've ever felt so gross in my life," she moaned, looking at him through half lidded eyes.

"Do you want any more tea?"

"Nah," she said, trying to sit up on her bed. "God, I can't handle laying on my back. It makes it so much harder to breath."

She then scooted over a little and tugged on his arm. "Do you wanna watch a movie Ed? I'd rather us do something entertaining than just sitting here doing nothing."

Edward stared at her, stunned by her offer. It had been several weeks since she'd even talked to him and now she was trying to get him to watch a movie with her in her bed?

He tried to suppress his excitement and asked her, "are you sure?"

"Yeah. You can pop in any one of those on the shelf over there," she said, pointing over to the few movies she had purchased.

He walked over and barely scanned over them, settling on one he assumed was a comedy and put it in her little TV. It was thrown out behind some shop when Winry found it and, of course, with a little wiring and fixing up she was able to get it working again.

After putting in the movie, he walked back to her, ready to sit back down on his chair when she lifted her blanket and gestured for him to lay beside her. It was surprising to him and he felt his face heat up, but didn't say anything as he joined her and she laid the blanket over both of them.

Edward sat there, stiff and barely touching her, completely unsure with what to do with this new close proximity to her. His thoughts were racing when he felt her press against him and curl into his side slightly. Trying as hard as he could to calm down, he wrapped a shaky arm around her shoulder and forced himself to relax.

After all this time of feeling rejected by her, it was bliss entering this new level of intimacy and he started feeling all of his anxiety washing away. He'd missed her so much that he almost wanted to cry out of happiness from the relief he was feeling.

As she snuggled closer to him and laid her head on his chest, he tightened his arm around her and rested his cheek on top of her head.

"Thank you for taking care of me Ed," Winry spoke as softly as she could, voice hoarse.

He felt his heart swell at her comment and how fragile she sounded.

"I'd do anything for you Winry… you know that right?"

"Yeah… I know you would."

They laid in silence, both minds racing over their relationship since he'd returned from his trip to the moment right now.

"… Winry?"

She shifted her head up to look at him, her eyes curiously looking into his. "What?" She whispered.

He slowly leaned his head down to hers, noses barely touching.

"… There's something that I have to-"

_Knock knock knock._

Edward bit his lip, groaning with slight irritation in his mind. Someone was at the front door down stairs.

"I'll go see who it is," he said, giving her one short squeeze before stepping out of the bed and out her room.

Edward had an annoyed look plastered to his face. They couldn't have waited ten minutes? Or an hour? Or just not come at all?

He'd been _so_ close to telling Winry everything and the moment was perfect. Now he had to deal with this first.

_Oh well,_ he thought.

At least now he and Winry were on speaking terms and were genuinely comfortable around each other. After the mental and emotional torture of not even being able to say 'good morning' to her without feeling out of place, he supposed a small interruption would be bearable.

He lazily walked to the door and pulled it open, revealing the person on the other side.

"Hi! I'm James. Is Winry here?"


	5. My Whole Life

"Hi! I'm James. Is Winry here?"

Time was frozen for Edward and all he could see was this man in front of him, with flowers in his arms. That deep pit in his stomach came back tenfold. This was not one of Winry's customers

"Why are you here." It didn't even sound like a question.

The man flinched and looked taken aback from his words.

"… Winry called and said she couldn't meet a few days ago… I noticed she started feeling sick when we were hanging out last week and I just wanted to see if she was feeling better."

What. She was doing what!

This man was acting way too familiar. Why did he have flowers? How did he know exactly what was going on with her? It took everything for Edward not to lose it and realization came crashing on him. He felt like he was hit by a train.

"She's not here."

The man looked disappointed as he lowered the flowers in his arms. Oh, he was feeling bad?!

"Oh… could you tell her to give me call? I've been worried about her. Are you her brother? Has she been feeling any better?"

_Shut up. Shut the fuck up!_

"No." His voice trembled, proof that he was close to losing control.

He shut the door way too calmly and locked it, turning around and walking back to Winry's room.

He didn't even register the knocking as he took shaky steps. The room was spinning and all he could see was white.

It all made sense. That was no fucking customer. That was who she had been meeting up with the past two months and he was so blind to see what was happening right in front of him.

That Sheep Festival. That was how this happened. And the week later when she went out with "Nellie." He could laugh hysterically over how foolish he was to believe that. Really? A girls' night out on Sunday? That red lipstick she wore. That fucking red lipstick.

He wanted to scream. His breathing was erratic, his nails cut into his palms, his jaw was clenched, and his face and body trembled.

All those days where she was gone for hours and came back happy, it was all because of _him_. Why would he think he was her brother? What had they done with each other? What had they said to each other? How much did they share? Where had he touched her? Where had she touched _him_?

He didn't even know he was outside Winry's door until he opened it, revealing her dozing off right where he left her.

Edward felt like he was in an entranced state, his feet moving on their own towards her. His eyes were wide and he didn't know what he was even doing.

Winry shifted and moved her head until it faced him, startled to find him towering right over her.

"Ed… what's wrong?"

"I met James."

She flinched at the announcement and it told him everything he needed to know. His rage came back even stronger.

"O-oh, he's just a-"

"Are you two together."

"No! It's not like that!"

"Really?! Because it sure seems that way!"

Edward was seething. He was hunched over, fists clenched and shaking, teeth gritting. Why was she lying to him? Why couldn't she just tell him the truth? He could feel all of the trust and closeness they had built over the years violently being torn away from him. This wasn't happening.

"Ed, calm down! You have no idea what is going on!" Her voice was strained despite her best effort to yell back at him. She didn't care about how much it hurt.

Winry unconsciously clutched the stuffed owl against her chest and that just enraged him even more. It was from _him_. He just knew it.

"You've been lying to me! You've been lying this entire time! You've been with _Nellie_ this entire time?! Are you fucking serious?!" He stomped away from her bed, vigorously pacing around her room, running his hands through his hair, trying desperately to regain his posture.

Winry could feel her eyes sting with tears. Dammit. Why did she always cry when she was angry?

"Y-you have no idea what's b-been going on! H-how dare you a-accuse me like this!"

 _Stop fucking crying!_ She told herself. She wished she could be just like him now and yell her lungs out without wavering.

"Ohhh, don't even start crying right now!" He gave an angry chuckle, raking his hands across his face.

"You've been leaving the house for _hours_ every day! How could you lie for two months? Two fucking months Winry! You think you wanna cry?! I'm losing my fucking mind right now!"

"I had no one Ed! Don't even try to act like you care how I have been spending my time! I am a grown woman and you have no right to anything. I am NOT your wife!"

"FUCK!"

Edward snarled and slammed his fist into the dresser next to him, shaking the walls. He kept his head down, trying to control his breath, then shuffled over to the end of her bed, sitting down and burying is face in his palms, muttering to himself.

Winry wrapped her arms around her knees and tried to silence her crying. Thoughts were racing through her mind as she begged the adrenaline to just leave her body so she could stop shaking and sweating.

How could they fix this? There was no way they'd do it. All of their trust had surely been severed by this point and she was certain that this was the end of their friendship.

_He's going to leave again. He's going to leave me and I'm never going to see him ever again._

Winry felt a fresh wave of tears as she was certain that this would be it for them.

_Stupid! Winry you're so stupid! You just lost everything! You couldn't have just been honest? So stupid!_

She tried as hard as she could to stop and trembling when she heard a hitched breath coming from Edward. She looked up from her knees and saw his shoulders shaking and small whimpers coming from him.

He was crying.

Winry wiped her face and sat up on her knees, crawling over to him.

She didn't even try to hide her own crying as she kneeled beside him and just stayed there for a moment. She shakily brought her hands up to rest on his shoulders and leaned onto his back, pressing her face against him.

The two said nothing and let out of the emotions they had been suppressing for months.

* * *

It was hours later when they finally spoke again. They'd exhausted themselves and had fallen asleep during their crying.

Edward was the first one to awaken. He shifted a little, causing Winry to stir next to him. As they both fully awoke, they noticed they had both fallen asleep on the edge of her bed, her behind him, with an arm around his shoulder and his hand over hers.

They both sat up and faced each other, rubbing the sleep from their eyes.

"Winry… how are you feeling?" He whispered to her.

"I'm okay," she barely croaked out, throat even sorer from all of the yelling hours prior.

"Here… you need to lay back down. You're too sick to be getting up," he said gently, laying her back down on her pillows.

"Thank you…"

The both sat there, memories of everything flooding their heads.

"Ed… I'm so sorry."

He turned to her, shock all over his face.

"No, Winry… You didn't do anything wrong. Please don't apologize."

"No, I should have been honest about everything. I'm so sorry."

Edward could feel the deep pit growing again. He didn't want to hear anymore. He could just feel that what she was going to say next was going to confirm all of his suspicions about the other man and he couldn't handle it.

"Winry, please don't…"

"Ed, we are just friends I promise. He did ask me out once… but I turned him down. There's nothing going on."

What? Was she being serious?

He looked into her eyes and could see nothing but honesty in them.

"Why did you feel like you needed to hide it then?"

"… I don't really even know that. It was so silly of me, but I just stopped feeling close to you that I just felt weird about telling you anything."

"Winry, how could you think that?"

"Ed, ever since you came back you've been so distant. I mean, I tried to spend time with you, but you've been so busy and I felt so closed off from you."

He couldn't even fight her on that. He felt so horrible for doing that to her, he had no right to be as upset as he was, even though he couldn't help it.

"Winry…"

"So at the Sheep Festival, it really was just Nellie and I, but then Pitt and James starting hanging out with us too and we got to know each other."

Edward winced at the sound of _his_ name in her voice. He really didn't want to hear that, but he let her continue.

"We didn't have any plans to meet again or anything, but I ran into him a few days later and we just started talking after that. I was just so lonely, it was nice to have a friend," she confessed sadly.

Edward didn't think he'd ever felt lower than at this moment. It was so pathetic that couldn't even be of any comfort to the woman he loved to the point she had to rely on someone else for basic human companionship. And on top of that, he harassed her for it. Did he even deserve her?

He took her hands into his and rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles.

"Winry… I'm so sorry how horribly I fucked up. You did nothing wrong. After I came back I should have told you everything."

"I mean, sometimes we just get so caught up in what we're doing we just forget about everything else. I guess we both should have just talked to each other first instead of making assumptions. We need to work on that."

Edward looked at her sadly, trying to take in everything that had happened between them since he had gotten back. It was only two months ago when he was contemplating traveling again, now he couldn't bear the thought of leaving her. He needed to start treating her like his partner.

Taking her face gently in his hands, he leaned his forehead onto hers, looking deep into her eyes.

Winry could her heart beat rapidly and her face warm up at their closeness.

"Edward…"

Running his thumbs over her high cheekbones, he slowly leaned in closer and closer, their breath hot on each other's lips, until they finally met.

All of the love and pain they had felt for each other was poured out into their kiss, both desperately trying to express how they felt. Winry whimpered slighty when he ran his fingers through her hair and she wrapped her arms tight around his neck in response.

Soon they finally broke apart, both feeling lightheaded, but held onto to each other as if their lives depended on it. They leaned their foreheads back on each other, trying to catch their breaths. After moments of silence, Edward smiled lightly at her and gave her another short, soft kiss.

"I love you Winry."

Winry's eyes widened, hardly believing that he finally said the one thing she had been desperate to hear for so long.

"Ed… I love you!" She practically jumped back on him in joy, the first tears of happiness falling in months.

Edward ran his hands down her back, his own eyes stinging of tears.

Pulling away from each other, she took his hands in hers. "Thank you Ed… I'm sorry about not telling you about James… but he's a really nice person and I want you to be friends with him too."

Edward winced at the mention of that guy, not really wanting to think about him especially after what had happened between himself and Winry moments ago. He also wasn't too crazy about the thought of being buddies with a guy who he was pretty sure was still crushing on Winry, but he'd get past it just for her.

"Yeah… I'm gonna have to apologize to him. Uh, I wasn't the nicest guy to him when we met."

"Edward! What did you say to him?"

"Err. Nothing bad! I just snapped a bit at him and shut the door in his face."

Winry sighed at his comment. She was going to have to find a way to apologize to James, but hopefully they could all be good friends.

As Edward fumbled around his words, promising that he would try to talk to James, Winry giggled and felt warmth in her chest as she thought about her new found relationship with Edward, overjoyed that things were going to be okay between them and she wouldn't have to worry anymore.

 _After all,_ she thought _, I've already given my whole life to him._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this was first fanfic and really my first story ever. I've been playing around with the idea of redoing this or finding a way to make this longer considering I really like the plot of this story ans want to do more for it.  
> Thank you for reading and I hope to create some more content in the future!


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